zaty

love is

love is
  everything sweet
  everything nice
but in the midst of it all, you should've thought twice

love is
  everything cool
  everything warm
but in the dark shadows, it really does more harm

love is
  everything beautiful
  everything aglow
but in harsh reality, it's hard to say no

c/o
so it's ridiculous
  and funny
to say why love is so great
cause what i think
  and what i feel
is that love equals to hate

© Zaty 22/07/06
1.00am

just let me rest in pieces...

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
You got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
You held me in your hands...

a slice of the Saliva song Rest in Pieces (I love it) =)

On a related matter - GAH GET OUT OF MY HEAD Mr. SexyLips! >__<

Ok. I'm bored of liking him. Not exactly bored of HIM, --- wait. that's not entirely untrue tho.

Liking people is tiring. Liking him in particular is just plain lethargic. I need a life. Wargh. Ge out of mine, Mr. SL.

Ciao. I should really learn to stop liking people to this insane level. Oh well.

"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell" ^_^

UIA???

My dad wants me to go to UIA.

NOT kidding.

My parents are worrying that I might not get to fly, because this MARA offer is just too risky to not have a safety net. And I totally agree that I DO want+need a safety net.

But I have to study at UIA ASAP??

Pa wants me to enter the current intake so that "I don't miss out" but I'm so mentally exhausted by the Alevels that learning is the last thing on my mind right now, what more to catch up with the already-started syllabi.

What's more, I am NOT mentally prepared to enter Uni life. I've targetted February '08 for my entrance into Uni life, not this year, not anytime soon.

But I know what my parents have in mind. They don't want me to terkapai-kapai if my Alevels results suck or something. I understand what they're getting at.

I'm just tired I guess. I'm tired of feeling helpless. I don't know what's best for myself or my future. Come what may, I'll just grab it by the horns and work with it I guess.

God, you're my only hope now.

Oh yeah, FYI, if I do get in UIA, it's for the Nov 07 intake cuz they dont accept anyone anymore for the June intake *long satisfied sigh*

Argh. Not feeling too good.

I STILL WANT TO GO TO UNIV OF WELLINGTON DAMMIT.

Geez.
Random outbursts.

Bye.

WARGH. my friendster blog's been giving me problems since the last time i wrote an entry. i also couldn't comment on other ppl's blogs because it seemed that i wasn't logged in when i already i was.

but oh well.

thank God it's okay now. hmm. =/

i'll write some tuff in later later. i am ridiculously full and kinda tired. am also very thirsty.

so to whoever's reading this, cheerios and catcha later~
and for mroe recent updates of my lfie, check out my other more personal, more detailed, official (LOL) blog : http://zatyness.blogspot.com

ciao.

PARADISE KISS. lonely in gorgeous"

I LOVE THIS ANIME.
i so have to scour the net to find the manga. huhu. T_T

anyhow, here's the opening song for the story. It's quite tragic, I think, and it's sort of a foreshadowing of the ending. T_____T

*whimpers* george koizuma... *drooooool*

enjoy.

listen here: (clickie)

ROMAJI LYRICS Gozen reiji tobidashita Tobira wo kettobashite Garasu no kutsu ga warete DORESU (dress) mo yabureta
Nee akirete iru deshou? Oikakete mo konai Namida ga afurete mou hashirenai wa
JERASHII (jealousy) kamo...SE-TSU-NA-I...!!
"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah... Party night...I'm Breaking my heart Ima sugu mitsukete dakishimete hoshii
HEDDORAITO (headlight) ga hikaru ...where are you Bad boy? Ai no SUKAAFU de namida wo fuite Nani mo mienai
Hoshikuzu wo kaki atsume Anata ni butsuketai Naze kamau no? Jibun shika aisenai kuse ni...
Shitsuren kamo...MAJI nano...?!
"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah... Party time...umaranai Anata ga inai to karappo no sekai
Yume no tsuzuki ga mitai "I miss you Bad boy" Kirameki no naka ni tojikomenaide Kowarete shimau wa
"Lonely in Gorgeous" I'm Breaking my heart Where are you Bad boy? "Lonely in Party night"
"Lonely in Gorgeous" I'm Breaking my heart I miss you Bad boy "Lonely in Party time"
"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah... Party night...waraenai Nani mo iranai tada soba ni ite
"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah... Party night... I'm Breaking my heart Anata ga nokoshita kirameki no hako no naka de Kodoku wo daite ugokenai Nani mo iranai no tada soba ni ite Hizamazuite watashi wo mite Ai wo chikatte

English Translation   

At twelve I run out
And kick the door
My glass shoe breaks
And my dress has ripped

You're disgusted, aren't you?
You don't even come after me
My tears overflow and I can't run anymore

This might be jealousy...it's sad...!!

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night...I'm Breaking my heart
I want you to find me right now and hold me tight

The headlights shine
...where are you Bad boy?
Wipe away my tears with the scarf of love
I can't see anything

I want to gather stardust
And throw it at you
Why do you even bother?
You only love yourself...

This might be a lost love...are you serious...?!

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party time...I can't bury it
When you aren't here the world is empty

I want to see the next part of my dream
"I miss you Bad boy"
Don't lock me up inside excitement
I'll break

"Lonely in Gorgeous"
I'm Breaking my heart
Where are you Bad boy?
"Lonely in Party night"

"Lonely in Gorgeous"
I'm Breaking my heart
I miss you Bad boy
"Lonely in Party time"

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night...I can't smile
I don't need anything just be by my side

"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night
I'm Breaking my heart
Inside of the box of excitement that you gave me
I hold on to my loneliness and I can't move
I don't need anything just be by my side
Kneel and look at me
And swear that you love me

INTERESTING turn of events

I JUST recently found out something about a certain person I've known in the past.

I think I deserve to be angry/kecik ati because of this newfound 'secret', but ironically, I actually don't feel anything negative towards it.

In fact, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

All this while, I've been feeling not-so-happy feelings because I thought I have wronged him.

Turns out, I didn't.

Well, not entirely, that is.

The funny thing is, just a few days ago, I sent him a 2-segment SMS to apologise for whatever I've done wrong to him. Not to patch things up exactly, but just to let him know I'm sorry, and let go of my guilt.

Right after, I felt satisfaction, even excitement, because I finally got rid one of the troubles that have been brewing in my head all this while.

He didn't reply back the SMS, but I really don't mind/care.

Whatever it is, if Hari Kiamat comes, I've already asked for his forgiveness, and if he doesn't accept it, it's his decision, and it'll affect him then. I'm off the hook. =D

(Yes, I CAN be a heartless biatch. But let's not go there, shall we? ;) )

Ah well. People come, people go. Hearts get hurt, hearts can heal.

Whatever it is, I'll focus on more important things in life right now, like my academics, family affairs, and personal affairs. I'm glad I've gotten rid of this ugly issue from my system.

Woohoo! Cheers, people~ ^___^

---

p/s - I've only done about 8.7% of my homework+assignment. Brilliant me. XD

On second thought..

p/s 2 - Crapoola. I've only done that much. Oh hell. >_<

him.

i was so sure that i was over him,
he doesn't even cross my mind these days.
our memories have faded away,
just like my infatuation for him.
that is, until the day i got my heart broken.

it took me ages to heal,
and many more to conceal my emotions,
and just when i thought i was alright,
he appears again out of the blue.
and sure as hell, i didn't know what happened,
i just didn't have a clue.

when i saw him, i was dumbstruck,
i couldn't move,
what more talk.
i paced as steadily as i could,
stuttering as i chatted
with another friend
near him.

then he sat across me,
i turn away,
shy
embarassed
desperate,
what else could i do?

when i look away, i can feel his eyes on me
burning my skin
heartbeat going fast
too fast.

when i look back, he looks another direction
in an instant
faster than a bullet
a skillful pretender.

but.
when we accidentally lock eyes, however,
we quickly pretend to not notice
each other.

but only God knows how nervous i was then
nobody else will know how intense it was
nor, how overwhelming.

it was strange
surprising
comical
and quite tragic.

-Zaty
12/08/06
11.02pm

always have good intentions.

... or else, face the music sooner or later.

and it won't be "B52s" music, as a spokesperson of a famous "Islam" organisation once said.

Heh. I find it so funny that they're even taken seriously by certain bodies.

They say they're fighting against oppression,
that they're fighting for freedom and whatnot.
They say they're fighting for women/human rights,
to be equals, to be able to live freely without boundaries.
To be limitless in terms of actions.
To be, basically, free from "discrimnation" just because they are women (and/or), Muslims (and /or), Malays, living in Malaysia.

I just find the situation ridiculous.

<b>If you're fighting in the name of Islam</b>, be it physically, spiritually, or psychologically, at least <b>have the right intentions</b>. And use the correct ways to get the idea accross, with as minimal damage as possible on both sides.

These so-called "liberal" faith leaders are living 'modern lives, and many do not perform the things Muslims are even supposed to do. So what type of Muslims are they? Only on their ICs? Which they are fighting to have the religion fields erased in the future?

They complain that women shouldn't be forced to wear the tudung, that it's a "discrete" form of oppression.
But then, having their daughters wear skimpy outfits for show to everyone, because it's 'cool, trendy, and what's in' is perfectly acceptable, while these daughters get pressured to look beautiful & sexy, going thru all sorts of beauty procedures to please the (surprise, surprise) men?

They complain that women shouldn't be forced to be silent, that it strengthens the patriarchal control on women.
But then, they let themselves be slaves of the media and act like 'modern' people by resolving to drinking & partying, which consequentially leads to drugs, free sex, abortion, and so many other things?

Hah. I can go on for days of how silly they are, I don't know where to start.

For those who understand who/what I'm talking about, I can't say the extent of how afraid I am of how things will be later on.

There is no such thing as "Liberal Islam". There's no compromise in Islam. You can't compromise Islamic laws. Nobody is greater than God. God knows his creations, they weaknesses and strengths. By questioning his wisdom and <i>memandai-mandai</i> editing God's orders, you're actually going against not just "mainstream Islam", but God.

Heh. But then again, looking at the statements they make, I don't think some of them even think about God anymore. I guess they've been blinded by the wonderful, blissful lives they have now to not even think about the consequences of their actions to argue on God's laws.

Do they even remember what is their purpose on earth?
Do they even know the reason in the first place?

Quit complaining like babies- <b>search for the truth, not for ways to bend it</b>.

Stop using human laws to interprate God's laws, dangit. And for God's sake, stop thinking merely about this life, because in the end, what's most important is how your life will be after death. Heaven or hell- you choose where you want to end up in, and strive to go there.

But I guess some of them don't even know/remember that Muslims should believe in life after death, huh.

And they call themselves Muslims.

Sad.
Really sad.

thank you, KMS.

thanks for making our lives here a living hell.

thanks very much for being very 'considerate' and 'helpful'.

really, <span style="font-weight:bold;">thank you</span> SO much for helping us cope with the stress and all our problems in KMS.

hmm.

i've lost my love, trust, and respect in certain teachers in KMS. especially a certain one that i find extremely and utterly hypocritical.

again, THANK you.

note: to everyone who knows of KMS' Language Nite, it's been postponed because of certain 'problems', with multiple reasons and without discussions with us. don't ask me why, becaus ei'm tired of breaking down and being mad about this. everyone's effed-up right now, and it'll take a few days to calm. maybe even more.

p/s- oh ya. and i'm going to wash the teacher's toilets next week because i'm going to fail my Lit quiz that was held earlier today. talk about appreciation, Pn. Husniah. you really are great at doing that, huh?

I FINISHED HOT GIMMICK!!!

What an accomplishment.... *shiney eyes*

I can't believe it. All 54 chapters. Done.

Well, actually, I technically read the scanlations up till chapter 41, and the rest were merely translations, just plain text (up to our imaginations ;) ), but basically I did finish it, ne? ^_^

*loooong sigh*

I'm so in love with Shinogu... *dreamy eyes* He's sweet, caring, dependable, responsible, smart, affectionate, and not to mention an absolute eye candy as well. ;)

Gah. I so want a Japanese guy now. XD

And yesterday I signed up at some online Japanese penpal system thingie. But I deleted it a few minutes after posting my 'classifieds' because I felt weird. >_o

Fungus. I really want Shinogu.

Shinogu Shinogu Shinogu...

I CAN'T WAIT FOR HOT GIMMICK S TO COME OUT!
For those of you who don't know/don't bother to know, it's a text novel that is an alternate ending to the Hot Gimmick graphic novel that we have today. It's in japanese, so I'm hoping the English version'll be released. Because it's probably got a LOT to do with Shinogu.

Yes, yes. I'm obsessed with him. And hot Gimmick. I can't help it!

He's just perfect. ^_^

Aight, later people.

Download scanlations Chap 1- Chap 41 : Clickie!
Translations of Chap 42-Chap 54 : Clickie!
A really awesome Hot Gimmick forum : Clickie!

Ha. I'm done. Whew. LATER~

---

Next up on Mangas to delve into:
-Absolute Boyfriend @ Zettai Kareshi
-MARS
-Tokyo Boys & Girls

Mangas to continue/finish reading:
-Yakitake!! Japan
-Midori No Hibi
-Pretty Face
-Fruits Basket (watched most of the anime, but not the manga)
-Boys Over Flowers @ Hana Yori Dango @ Metero Garden ;)
  ^-- the Jap series was AWESOME. i LOVE Matsumoto Jun!! ^_^

And I'll update the rest later. Wheee~~ ^_^